James "Maddox" Barrie has Arrived

I realize I'm a little late on posting this and most everyone already knows that our sweet baby boy has arrived. Maddox was born on July 8th at 1:37am and came into the world weighing 8lbs and 10ozs and measuring 20 inches tall(although my doctor tells me she thinks the nurse measured him wrong and he was 21 inches). The moment I laid my eyes on him I thought he was just perfect! His coloring was good and he was real responsive to Dan and I. Here is a picture of him moments after he arrived. You can't tell me this big boy isn't just perfect?

I am adore this baby so much and although he's turned my life upside down I wouldn't change it for the world. There have been many sleepless nights and some nights full of tears (mostly mine), but it's been a month now and I think Dan and I are adjusting well. He's starting to sleep a little longer through the nights, although he started wanting his mommy (me....and yes I sometimes refer to myself as Mommy now) to hold him while he sleeps. The moment I attempt to lay him down he just opens his eyes and looks at me like, "Hey, you can't put me down, don't want to sleep unless you hold me while I do it." HAHA!! And let me tell you getting him to sleep in his crib and not his bassinet is a fighting battle. We are still working on that, but I'm doing my best to be persistent about it!

First day home

Daddy and Maddox watching World Cup 2010

Mommy and Maddox hanging out at home

Big Stretches (3 days old)

One thing I have realized about being a mother is that no one could have prepared me for it. You can't really explain the changes you are going to face or love that you are going to feel until you experience it. It's truly amazing and a beautiful thing! And for all those ladies who haven't had children yet, labor and delivery is NOT that bad and totally worth it. I'd do it again!

Here are just a few more pictures of Maddox and all the fun we've been having since he has joined us, to make us a family of three.

Still No Baby and a Change of Names

Only 3 more days until my due date and still no baby. The anticipation is nearly killing me! I was sure I'd have him early after having heard that he dropped and I have been dilated to a two for the past 3 weeks, but still nothing. No contractions, no cramping; nada. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up in the middle of the night with contractions or my water broken, but now I'm starting to doubt this. I think our sweet little boy is hanging on for the big grand entrance, maybe the 4th of July??

So since the last time I had posted, Dan and I have finally settled our name debate and have decided on a name that both of us adore. We are going to name the baby Maddox or call him Maddox, however his full name will be James Maddox Barrie. I think it's a strong name and Dan and I are both happy with it. We were going to go with Maddox James, since we intend to call him Maddox, but neither of us feel it sounds as strong. I still adore the name Harper Donovan, but I wanted to be fair in what we name our first baby, since it the first baby for both of us. Having given up Harper also gives me full reign of the name for the second baby, but a second baby is still years away for us. :)

I see the doctor tomorrow and hopefully I'll have more of an update then. Until then, we wait for our precious baby boy!

It's the Waiting Game

Only 18 days until my due date! However, I have this feeling that the baby is coming this week or possibly weekend. The baby has dropped as low as he possibly can, without actually being born. I am dilated to a two (which I laugh about saying or posting on here because I feel like talking about how dilated I am is one of those things you don't say as it involves your private parts, LOL!!). Of course that's assuming that anyone even reads this blog. Our midwife also tells us the cervix has thinned out 75%, again one of those things that just seems like TMI (too much information)n. Anyhow, all this leads up to the fact that the arrival of my baby boy is getting close. I have had a few false contractions, referred to as Braxton Hicks, which is supposedly preparing my body for the real thing. I don't see how false contractions are going to prepare me for the most excruciating pain of my life, but okay, that's what the midwife tells me. I'm getting nervous about the labor and delivery, but excited about finally meeting our little boy. I've waited 9 1/2 long months for this day and in reality I've waited many years for this day, which I started to believe would never happen, until of course I met my sweet husband, Dan.

Of course, I am faced with a dilemma, which is a name for a sweet baby boy. I thought we had agreed on Harper Donovan, but about two weeks ago Dan tells me he doesn't like Harper now. How can he tell me this 9 months into the pregnancy and after at least 8 month of referring to my baby bump as Harper? SO NOT RIGHT! We have agreed that I get the first name of our first born and he gets the middle name, so he has also said I can still name him Harper if I chose to, but wanted me to know how he felt about it. I feel like the baby is already Harper, so I'm not sure I want to change it, however I also hate to think that my husband doesn't care for it. I did ask for guidance in a prayer though one night regarding the name and woke up with the name Maddox, which I also like and Dan likes as well (and no I had no idea it was Angelina Jolie's son's name before hand, I guess I don't follow the tabloids). I'm just not sure it feels right yet. It's a Welsh name and means good and generous, which is certainly a positive. I am just hoping that when I hold the baby for the first time I'll know what to name him and it'll just feel right. I don't want to be that couple that leaves the hospital without a baby name, but anything is possible.

Also, I'd like to point out I've learned a very valuable lesson here with the baby's name. Never tell your families what you think you are going to name the baby before the baby arrives. Keep that between you and your husband, because really the decision is up to the parents, not our families (yeah dad's I'm blasting your asses on here, haha!). I just can't believe all the grief I have gotten from both of the fathers and the truth is I would of expected it more from the mothers, but I guess they've been through this already so they can relate and have been great about it. If and when we have another baby, the fathers will not be privy to the name before hand, cause I don't want to hear it! And my brother in law also made a very good point......it's the child that makes the name, not the name that makes the child.

Showers and More Showers!

The last two weekends have been consumed by baby showers! I could get use to all the attention I am getting with this baby belly and especially considering I'm a thing of the past once Harper is actually born. He will be in the lime light as he should be, because he's going to be such a beautiful little boy.

My mother had a shower for me on May 15th for all my friends in the Pasadena and Los Angeles area. It was so lovely and she really out did herself with everything. The menu was amazing, the decorations were elegant and cute, and all my friends and old neighbors who came topped it off for a wonderful Saturday! My mom had been working so hard on her beautiful backyard to make sure it was ready for the shower and the weather couldn't of been any better for it. The garden was beautiful with lots of flowers, not to mention the blue hydrangea's that were on each of the tables. It was just so lovely! Thank you mom for making it so special. Oh and your homemade apple cupcakes, were a complete hit. Can we say incredible??? I just want to thank all my friends and old neighbors who came to celebrate with me for making it such a special gathering and for all the wonderful gifts you got Harper. I can't wait to show him all of great things he has had waiting for him!

My mother in law, Susie, and her good friend Patty threw me my second shower on May 22nd, this past Saturday. It too was amazing and couldn't of gone any better. It was primarily Susie's friends, but I did invite a few of my OC friends and although not all of them could make it, it was great to be able to spend time with Stephanie and Irina who did make it. Thank you ladies for coming and being part of the celebration! We had belini's (mine were made with apple cider) and the most amazing lunch that Patty prepared for all of us (tea sandwiches included, which if anyone knows me well enough, totally makes for a happy girl). We had lunch outside under the pavilion and later moved inside for the opening of gifts. Harper got so many great things and I can't believe how generous everyone was. I honestly feel so loved, however it may be Susie that is so loved, but since I'm now family the love trickles down in this instance, HAHA!! Susie made an incredible flannel blanket for the baby with surfboards and woodies on it, too cute!! Thank you everyone for making my baby shower so special, it was a lot of fun and I'm glad I got to spend time with everyone of you!

I still have one more baby shower to go with the family on June 5th and I honestly can't imagine what I am going to do with all of the baby items we have gotten and are still to receive! I had no idea babies came with so much stuff! His closet is already packed full of diapers and clothes. His drawers are even stuffed with onesies, shorts, board shorts, little cute shoes (two pairs of high tops which may be the thing that make his mama melt the most), and even blankets! I have no idea where all his things are going to go in the kitchen, nothing has a home yet in there. We have bottles all over the counter top right now. Organizing that still needs to be done.....I'll get to it eventually. I managed to get the swing and the bouncer put together for him today and tonight I'm packing my hospital bag. The hospital bag is just in case he decides to come early, although I'm hoping he hangs on till July 4th. Either way, he's going to be my All American boy with a due date of July 4th!

So tomorrow is Mother's Day and I'm not sure if it counts as my first Mother's Day or if it doesn't count at all since Harper hasn't been born yet. I do feel like a mother already, protective and a little nervous of what my little boy will encounter once he is born. I feel this need to protect him already, it's incredible, it's that mother's instinct that so many have told me about.

Everyday I feel like my heart is just bursting with more and more love for this little guy growing inside of me. I love all the kicks, turns, and little punches I get from him. I feel reassured with every movement that he is healthy and growing. At first I had I thought he was going to be this huge baby, but now I'm starting to wonder if he's going to be of average size, since I'm not as big as I thought I was going to be. Of course, I still have 8 more weeks to go. I guess that's still enough time to pack on the pounds if I'm not careful!

I think about Harper all day long and what he's going to look like, how his personality will develop, and what his likes and dislikes may be as he gets older. This little guy consumes my thoughts and it makes my heart so happy that Dan and I created something so beautiful together. I love my little family more everyday and can't wait until I get to welcome our little one into this crazy wonderful world. It makes me all teary eyed, happy tears though. I feel so blessed in my life to have such a great husband who loves me so much and two incredibly wonderful families (his and mine) that love us and support us like they do. We may not have all the material things we'd like or the money to buy it all, which is sometimes a concern, but when I look at the big picture I'd rather have all this love in my life. My heart is so happy and I feel so blessed. And yes, I realize I'm so mushy, but I can't help myself right now.

I got a little off track, so back to Mother's Day, I want to thank my Mom for always being there for me and being the best mom one could ask for. She is the constant in my life and is always there for me no matter what. I look back now and realize she has supported me through everything, even all the dumb decisions I have made that she didn't agree with (and there were quite a few). Now that I'm going to be a mother and have this need to protect, I understand how making some of these choices in my life were probably hard and hurtful for her to watch, because she knew I would get hurt, but she also understood I had to experience it to understand it on my own. I love you mom for letting me grow up and experience life and become the person I am today and loving me the whole way through it. You are my mother, but my best friend too. You have stood by me through everything and will even be there when I welcome my own child/your first grandchild into this world. You are so beautiful mom and I love you so much!

In the last year I have also been blessed with a Mother In Law, who I think is pretty wonderful. So I'm lucky enough to have two mom's now. I am starting to wonder where my luck is going to run out?? Dan's mother has been incredible and has always made me feel comfortable and welcome in their family. She is always so thoughtful and doing such great things for Dan and I. Whether it is be sending us home with food, planning our wedding (I can't thank her enough for this one as it became way too stressful), birthday celebrations, and having us for dinner or taking us out to dinner. She is really an amazing woman and I also hope some of her "tough mom" attitude rubs off on me since I'm having a little boy who is bound to get himself into trouble when he gets a little older (especially with Dan as his daddy-I've started to hear the stories from all his friends). Susie, I love you and consider myself lucky to have you in my life.

Happy Mother's Day!

Winner, Winner, Winner!!

My husband, Dan, drag races a 62' Chevy Nova that is called Mighty Mouse. This past weekend he was in Bakersfield for Dragfest racing. He called earlier today to tell me he lost his first race, but was still competing in one more class. He said, " I'm going to win baby." Well this afternoon he called to say, "I'm a winner, winner, winner!" I was so excited to hear this news and just thrilled he was coming home with a 4' ft trophy and a cash prize. Of course the first thing I asked myself was, "Where is this trophy going to go?" HAHA!! I figured he'd put it in the babies room with his other trophy, his baby boy, Harper.

Before he left this weekend, he told me he was going to win it. He was focused and he really meant it. I am so proud of you babe, you did it! Remember though, you are always a winner in my book!!

Vroom-Vroom!!

http://www.dragfest.com/main.php

Just a Little Tadpole

I am new to this and not sure how this will visually look, so I'm doing a little test run so I can play with the settings on my page.

So I found out I was pregnant a few days before Thanksgiving of 2009. I remember it was a Thursday and I told my husband, Dan, that I thought I was pregnant,because I had been feeling so sick for a few days. We had discussed pregnancy before and had agreed if I was we would be totally ready for it. We both felt we were at an age when it was either going to happen or not, so we were prepared to embrace it (don't let this fool you, we weren't prepared for a lot of other stuff soon to follow). Well he went to bed that Thursday night and although I told him I was going to take the test in the morning, I couldn't wait.....I had to know!! I figured I had two tests, as I bought a two pack, so I could do one that night and one the following morning. As soon as I pee'd on that little stick I got a plus sign and was in total shock. For some reason, I was convinced it wasn't going to be easy for me to get pregnant. Boy was I ever wrong, a month off the pills and BAM!

I didn't know whether to be happy or to cry, because my life was about to totally change. I picked up the phone and called the constant in my life, my mother. By the time she picked up I was crying and not sure exactly what to say. So I just blurted it out, "I'm Pregnant and you're going to be a Grandma." I wasn't sure what kind of response I was going to get. She was thrilled, which is a good thing, because it helped stop the tears. I cried because I wasn't sure Dan and I were financially ready and I wasn't sure and sometimes still question, whether we'll be good parents. I tried to remind myself of what my grandmother always said, "If you wait until you can afford children, you are never going to have them."

So here we are 8 months into this pregnancy now. The first trimester was a complete nightmare for me. I was sick all the time and so tired. I came down with the stomach flu and a week later got strep throat. I was convinced I was a walking magnet for germs at this point and was using hand sanitizer like I owned stock in it. The only good thing that came out of the first trimester is that my boobs were getting HUGE! Of course, I was also getting the gut to go with the boobs (to hold up the boobs). Go figure!!

The second trimester seems like it was a breeze and it wasn't until the first week in the second trimester that I got my first ultrasound since week 6 and got to see the baby. I cried during this ultra sound and felt so relieved to hear the heartbeat for the first time. I had been so sick early on, was worried it was going to hurt the baby, but as the nurses told me, "Babies are more resilient than you would think." It was also during the second trimester that we found out we are having a BOY! My husband was so relieved to find out we were having a boy and said, "Oh God I am so relieved, I don't know what I would of done with a girl."

I am now in the third trimester and obviously SO pregnant. I've gained something like 20 pounds so far and my belly is definitely protruding. I've long said good-bye to all my normal non-pregnancy clothes and hello to all the pants with elastic bands that hug your belly. I'll admit those pants with elastic bands are pretty darn comfortable. I wonder why overweight women don't take to wearing them? They just don't know what they are missing!

I had my first pregnancy scare this past week, April 29th. I have been keeping a fetal kick count of the baby and he's been quite the mover and shaker the past three weeks. It wasn't until late this past week that he started slowing down quite a bit. I wasn't even feeling 10 kicks in 2 hours and the doctor had told me that might be reason to be alarmed. Well I was!! I woke up on Thursday morning and felt him kick and then nothing for 3 hours. I called the Advice Hotline for pregnant women through my insurance company and they thought I ought to come in to be monitored. I went in and was admitted to labor and delivery and was given a room and hooked up to all these strange monitors. The minute I heard the little guys heart beat I started to cry. I was again relieved. They monitored his heart and movements for the next 3 hours and our baby was just fine. The type of movements he was making were changing, so we believe it may have just been that I didn't know what to be feeling for. I was lucky enough to get another ultra sound and I saw the baby. He's so big now and you can't even see him all in one screen shot. I saw his heart pumping and the little valves in it, his hands, his rib cage, and eyes. He even grabbed his foot for me with his hand. He is the most beautiful creature I've ever seen.

The bottom line is I'm a new soon to be mother who is paranoid because this is all entirely new to me. I have not done this before. I have been told that it's better to be a little over cautious than not at all. I just hope this some indicator that I'll be a good mother to my son Harper.